ORM Infatuation

Why is it that so many developers worship the ORM paradigm? Here's an educated guess:

SQL...really? You want me to write SQL code to manipulate data? How can anything from the 1970s be relevant today? Soon you'll be saying that cobol is making a comeback.

SQL...bah! It has no class keyword or curly braces. It's crap I tell you!

There's no fluent API provided by the major database vendors.

Who needs a DSL that is great at managing sets of data in an elegant manner when I can do it with so much more verbosity using languages intended for other, more generic purposes?

I want my object graph and I want it now!

Don't make me think about ad-hoc queries. In five years, no one will care about this data.

We are an agile shop, we want the ORM implementation to handle all the database design issues. Manually designing the database decreases the team's velocity. SQL is from the 1970s after all.

Five years from now, the data collected by this website will not have business value. Why should I care if the schema created by the ORM cannot be easily understood by a developer or business analyst?

The database is a vendor-specific entity, therefore evil, and must be abstracted away.

Everything decent and good in software must be object oriented, or it's crap.

Why can't we simply realize that OO normalizes behavior, while the relational DB normalizes data? Both are very important and deserve the full attention of the developer.